What I’m Doing Instead of Scrolling & How to Stop Dating Emotionally Unavailable People

There's something for everyone!

When I sit down to write these little round-ups of what I’ve been filling my time with, I’m really seeing them as logs of my sensory actions. Pleasure lists if you will.
They’re as much for me to reflect fondly on what life can look like when I pry myself away from the various algorithms as they are suggestions for things I hope you will also enjoy.
This week, I’m sharing some things that I’ve been hyperfixating on, as well as the third instalment of our not-to-be-missed monthly advice column: Open Dialogue.
Keep reading to find out how you can take a sledgehammer to our unhelpful dating habits and break the pattern of attracting emotionally unavailable people once and for all!

What I’m Reading:
In May, I finished Dolly Alderton’s most recent novel, Good Material, and haven’t stopped recommending it to anyone who will listen to me.
Alderton took on the (momentous) task of slipping into the male psyche, post-breakup, to tell a tale of a thirty-something struggling comedian who has recently faced being dumped and can’t fully grasp why. I remember when it was first recommended to me, I wasn’t sure I really wanted to read a book from the perspective of a male thirty-something-year-old struggling comedian who can’t follow the thread of why he was dumped. But it was nothing short of ★★★★★ for me and as with all of Alderton’s books, I was in stitches of giggles one min. and then full sobs the next.
If you’ve ever wondered what the other side feels like — if it’s anything like what you feel trudging through heartbreak, I highly recommend.

What I’m Eating:
Any of my close friends will tell you, I’m a big fan of a summer pasta. In fact, I hold close a recipe that my mom used to cook for us growing up, simply titled “Summer Pasta,” which, with enough begging, I might consider sharing.
However, these past weeks, I’ve come back to one of my all-time favorites. Arguably the better cousin to cacio e pepe (and that’s a hill I will die on): Pasta al limone.
An incredibly simple pasta to make, and incredibly pleasurable to eat, this recipe feels like the best meal you’ve ever had after a day floating in the Aegean Sea.

What I’m Watching:
It’s always right on the edge of summer that I’m fueled by a nostalgia so strong it almost knocks me over. It’s both for the summers of my childhood and for summers I’ve yet to experience.
So if you’re in the business of fanning the flames or need a little something to ignite that desire within you, please go watch Parthenope.
The most recent film by Italian filmmaker Paolo Sorrentino, Parthenope, falls in line with his deeply curious, glamorous, erotic, and god-fearing style of film.
Critics will say it’s too long, that the plot is faulty, but if you dig a little deeper, there’s much to be uncovered. And if you’re not in the mood for a deep dive, the visuals are enough to carry you through this Neapolitan fever dream.

What I’m Restocking:
After much deliberation, I finally decided to get myself on ShopMy. So now, you can find all of my essentials from wardrobe, to skincare, home necessities, and even a sexologist's favorite pleasure products, all in one place.
Right now, I’m restocking my skincare routine (why does it feel like you run out of all your favorite products at once?).
Particularly, all of my facile skin products from the gentle cleanser, to the brightening serum that helps keep my perioral dermatitis at bay, and my absolute favorite hyaluronic acid (and I swear I’ve tried them all).
On top of that, I’m restocking my Osea anti-aging body balm, though it’s a bit of an investment, it’s my holy grail body care buy.
And my David’s toothpaste. This is one of the only toothpastes that doesn’t flare my dermatitis so I keep it close at all times.

*I may earn some commission from the links featured in this email.

And if you’re not ready to go, keep reading for the second drop of my advice column, Open Dialogue, where I’ll answer your most burning sex, relationships, and dating questions.

Subject: Why do I only want people who don’t want me?